2005 MTVs -- the horror! The horror!

OK, I'll confess something right now. I'm stealing this idea from Cleolinda, who's done real-time recaps of award shows in he past. It's really kinda silly and I'll probably kill my wrists, but I hope that some folks can appreciate the spamming I'll have today. I also can't vouch for my spelling or grammar, so please forgive me.

Anyways...back to the show...

Ciara and Missy Elliott introduce some people. Missy's looking a little too skinny for me in my opinion and she's wearing some tunic top that looks like it belongs on a 60 year old from Boca who's on a cruise ship.

Ludacris and some other dude are now performing "Pimpin' all over the world". It sounds like shit -- the music's drowning out the vocals -- and the audience looks kinda bored. Suddenly there's a group of African dancers and drummers. A group of Brazilian dancers shake their ass. It's like "It's a Small World" for men who like big booty shakin' dancers.

Diddy's back! I'm still trying to figure out who's more arrogant -- Kayne or Diddy. He's talking about class and not having vulgarity. We'll see how long that lasts -- two seconds (as he lists off a bunch of cusswords). Not back for MTV. He's now giving shit away to people as the crowd goes apeshit. For some reason, I'm thinking of bread and circuses.

Diddy's babbling on about how the hottest dressed man and woman gets $100,000. I don't really care and missed it as I was snarking to Keidra.

Hey look! It's Orlando (aka Nich's look alike) and Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten needs tits for her dress. Paris Hilton looks like, "Bitch, I could fill that dress out better." Orlando and Kate read the best rock patter in a stilted fashion. I can't believe they're actors.

13-year-old me: OMG! Keidra! MCR's on!!!!!111!!!

Green Day wins. No surprise. The Killers look pissed off, which I find funny as hell. Destiny's Child is still figuring out who Green Day is.

Aaaaaannnnddd commercial!