Sunday, December 28, 2008

Monthly report: 18th month -- Previewing the off-off-off Broadway one woman show "It's so hard being so small."

Dear Benevolent Dictator:

Last Sunday you turned 18 months old. That day, your Grandma and Grandpa, along with two of your cousins came up to visit, which was the kick start of the HOLIDAY WORLD TOUR 2008! event that saw us visiting in-laws and family members.

As usual, you were a charming young lady. However, they also got a preview of your one-woman, off-Broadway show "MY LIFE IS SO HARD" which features an extended monologue "MY MOTHER. THE GREAT OPPRESSOR."

Yep. You've discovered tantrums. I knew it was coming, but the past month's arias of pain and woe are really kind of amusing in a sick way. You scream, fall down and then (when you realize that no one is paying attention to you), you go and play with a toy. Only to return and begin sobbing and telling me I'm a horrible mother for not letting you watch TV or play on the computer.

Lord. I knew you had a will. But it never stops amazing me. When I said I wanted you to be a strong woman who would not be afraid to challenge authority, I DIDN'T MEAN ME.

Anyways. You're still quite the chatterbox and you'll often echo our last word back to us, which is kind of fun. I had you saying "YAAAR!" for awhile, along with "Brutal!" and "Crivens!" You also love playing music, and now that Daddy's brought his guitar out, you'll strum a few strings and sing along with him when he plays it.

If there's anything I've noticed, you love books, music and talking to people. Not to mention, running around and exploring everything. You dance to music and will sing "Dub-dub-do-dub" when we sing. You also like ripping through my kitchen cabinets, pulling out the pots and pans and grabbing a spoon. Stirring in the pot you often say "soup," when I ask you what you're making.

You continue to charm the hell out of people. The people at the Apple store are familiar with you and find it charming that you barrel past them to get to the Lego Star Wars games. You even charmed Santa when you sat next to him in the mall and didn't scream bloody murder. Hell, we got a free milkshake out of that experience. Then there was the time you got a free model cell phone from the people at the Sprint kiosk. Somehow, when I go out with you, free stuff follows. It's kind of awesome. We need to take this act out on the road.

One problem we still need to figure out how to deal with is your problem with sharing. You've been known to hit kids with various toys when you don't get what you want. And really, while I understand your frustration, sometimes you have to wait your turn or share things with others. And the problem is that you don't have to do that frequently. There's only me and you at home and other than sharing the computer and food, there's not much that we need to share sometimes.

But just when I think that you might end up to be one hell of a selfish little witch, you'll amaze me by giving me a toy that you were coveting or some of your food. You're learning manners kiddo, which will help you go far. If you keep your confidence and add in some manners and diplomacy -- you're going to be unstoppable kiddo.



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