Shaun White, the gold medal, flying tomato comes out and introduces the Jackass crew who urges people to vote for the Viewer's Choice award. A lobster grabs Steve-O's tongue.
I can't believe teen girls are letting teen boys, who idolize these fools, fuck them.
Jack Black introduces Paris Hilton. MTV chooses to play her new single as she comes on and my brain attempts to eat itself. Paris is wearing black boots and a white dress that apparently is a tribute to her ferret destroying a roll of toilet paper. Either that or it's a Big Bird outfit, only bleached white. She introduces All American Rejects, who perform Move Along.
Yep. They're the All American Rejects. It's a song. I contemplate going to the bathroom and getting glass of wine to make this more interesting.
Nick Lachey and Nicole Richie come out. Nicole has the good sense to wear something less hideous than Paris, but the girl still needs to eat a cheeseburger -- or 12.
They present Best Pop Video. I so hope Stupid Girls wins, but the category actually has videos that I wouldn't throw rocks at: Madonna's Hung Up, Nelly Furtado's Promiscuous, Shakira's Hips Don't like and Christina's Ain't No Other Man.
YAY! Pink wins! She's got a weird hairdo where the front looks all curly and stuff and the back is shaved. She's chomping on her gum and looks and sounds drunk as hell.