It's only 9 p.m.? FUCK!
NeYo and Rihanna are on to present the best ringtone. WTF? A RINGTONE IS NOT A FUCKING VIDEO? Did a miss a memo?
Fort Minor wins for Where'd Ya Go and the audience flashes their Sidekicks. I wish I was joking.
And now Fall Out Boy, looking like a bunch of British fops, come out and introduce Panic! At the Disco.
PAtD is performing the song "I write sinning songs of tragedies" or some shit like that. They're dressed up like a weird mix of the Mad Hatter, goths, French Revolution and some cheap Victorian costumes. I think the pretentiousness level has hit code red now.
The dancers, who look like they're supposed to be victorian ladies in hoop skirts are dancing a bit too vigorously for those kinds of outfits. I'm surprised they haven't taken someone out with a hoop skirt. Then the confetti comes out, the girls collapse and my brain goes splat.
Jack Black comes on and jokes about how the song's an indictment about the country's foreign policy "Well played!"
Fergie and the assiest song next to My Humps (London Bridge) come out to present the
Best New Artist award and Little Miss Sunshine comes out to dance. She looks adorable and shy. Why is she here?
Avenge Sevenfold win for Bat Country, a homage/rip-off of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. The audience is considerably subdued. Maybe they should've had a clown or something in their video.
Is everyone drunk when they give their acceptance speeches?
During this time, Erich (who's IMing me) has a great observation:
"It just occurred to me, they aren't the Music Video Awards, they're the Video Music Awards. Which I guess is kind of like saying, 'We tape people playing music while handing out awards.'"
I love my friends.