Now I have to learn to watch my fucking mouth...

I just gave my mom the URL for this blog. She called me this morning and asked for it, and I gave it to her.

I always assumed that she was reading it, but it's a little weird knowing that she's making the effort to hunt it down and see what I'm up to. I kind of understand what Dan Savage was going through when he realized that someday, his kid may read the book he wrote about the adoption process and his not-so-serious reasons for the adoption -- namely that he had an advance for a book and needed to write about SOMETHING.

So, like Dan Savage, I'm writing a quick note to my mother, to get some of my paranoia that my mother may thing I'm batshit insane, a drunk or a sex-crazed maniac off of my chest.

Mom --

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad that you're checking this out. I like writing and expressing myself in various ways. I'm glad that you can use this to see what I'm writing and what I've been up to -- or even to see my thoughts on certain issues and topics.

However, keep in mind that some of the stuff that I'm saying is either sarcastic, silly or just plain stupid. You also know that I have a tendency to be blunt to a fault, so don't be surprised if what you're reading is a hell of a lot nastier than it means to be.

And you're my mom, so you should realize that my tendency to shoot my mouth off before thinking is normal for me. I'm a mouthy, loud and opinionated girl that will say pretty much anything to get a reaction out of people.

This is who I am. This is what I'm about. I think you knew it to begin with, but I hope that you understand that when I make wisecracks about you, Stella or anything else that might offend you, I'M JUST JOKING! Really! I kid because I love!

So yeah, that's pretty much it. Call this a pre-emptive apology or a warning. I don't mean to hurt your feelings or offend you, but read this at your own risk.

Love you lots!

Viv