Is there something tattooed to my forehead that says, "I HAVE BABIES! ASK ME ABOUT THEM!"? Because I've had two people ask me at two different times about babies this week.
First instance was with a meeting with a guy and his wife. We exchange the usual getting to know you bullshit when she does the following:
"Do you have a husband?" Yep, I say, for five years.
"Do you have kids?" Nope, I answer.
"Are you planning to have kids?"
Keep in mind, I just met this lady. I don't know if it's the weird, getting to know you small talk that occurs, but I attempt to choke back my standard answer. I instead opt for a more censored version:
"First a dog," I say. "If that goes well, maybe kids."
Second instance was at a fast food restaurant. The guy that manages there I've seen maybe five or six times, but he apparently remembers me.
"How's it going?" he asks. And I say that I'm doing alright.
"How's the husband? How's the kids?"
OK. Collectively everyone: WHAT THE FUCK?
My only response is to say that the husband is fine and the kids are nonexistent.
Is it just me? Do I have "ask me about my kids" cologne on? What the hell is going on around here? I don't have children. If I'm planning to spawn a litter, it's none of anyone's business until I let ya'll know.
Jeebus. Is the cosmos telling me something I don't know yet?