Confessions of some shitty taste in music

Recently, I managed to shove my foot so far down my throat that I think I felt my toes come out of my ass by accidentally ripping into several bands one of my friends likes. And not just a "I don't know if I dig their music" but a straight-up evil bitch rip.

Which I felt bad about, and I still kinda feel bad about. Admittedly, I'm not one to judge, given my shitty taste in music at times. While I've got some taste -- I'm not going to apologize for loving The Ranconteurs, White Stripes, Franz Ferdinand, U2 and a bunch of other bands -- I recently discovered all of the bands that I *floved* as a kid growing up are now on You Tube. I've turned back into the 16-year-old with shitty taste.

So, as a mea culpa, here's a list that I'd like to affectionately call "What the hell? Was I tone deaf?"

First up: NKOTB.


It's New Jack Swing turned New Jack WTF? I remember when this video came out and all the girls were like "Those skanks! They're dancing with Jordan and Joey! He's mine dammit!" The funny thing is that I don't mind the song, but this video is like every New Jack cliche gone horribly, horribly right.

Entering nightclub with sunglasses (even though it's pitch black)? Check.
Smoke a big fat cigar like Tony Soprano? Check.
Booty-shakin women in tight velour dresses? Check.
Baggy pants and poofy North Face jackets as well as pimpin' suits? Check.

For the record, my favorite was Donnie -- the sorta bad boy of the group. He's like the AJ McLean of Backstreet Boys, but his Donnie's hair and clothing is better. Not to mention, Donnie did look like someone who could kick some ass. AJ looked like he could do porn films.

Oh, it gets better. Then there's Color Me Badd.


We've got the weird-lookin' Kenny G lookalike, scuzzy George Michael, Terrance Trent D'Arby with Barry White's voice and just some scary lookin' guy with a ratty moustache and funky haircut. Not to mention, the hair on the girls is 90's tastic.

The funny thing is that hearing this song again makes me smile slightly. It's like a modern version of something Motown would do.

And what about the joys of Bel Biv Devoe?


Yes, nothing is sexier than a guy in workout gear. And nothing gets men hotter than seeing a woman in an oversized tanktop. The funny thing is that in comparison to a lot of other videos out there now -- this is positively tame. I remember parents freaking out to this song.

What's even better is that the New Jack Swing era had a lot of people dancing like this:


Those are some of the bands I liked as a kid. I wish I could say that I had taste, but well, yeah. Those videos speak for themselves.