Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours."

Apologies to Robert Byrne for stealing that one.

Now that the holidays are over, I've been locked up in a winter stupor. Frankly, it began in December as the days grew shorter and the nights longer. There's something disturbing about getting up at 6:45 in the fucking morning and realizing that it's dark and cloudy. I commute to work in the grey haze and come home at night. It's wreaking havoc on my system.

And now Wisconsin is getting slammed with snow -- so much for a white Christmas. Up your Bing Crosby too, while I'm at it.

The snow, the cold, the wind -- it all sucks ass. I do miss being a kid and a snowy day was a day of potential promise. It was a blank canvas waiting for sledding, snow fort construction or other goodies. Now, when I see snow, the first thought I have is, "Oh shit. Commuting will be a bitch."

Which brings up my next thought -- Wisconsin's known for winter right? If so, why the hell are people driving like morons? If the road is free and clear and you're on the FUCKING interstate, don't drive 35 you jackasses! Or drive with your hazards on for miles! I can see you if you turn on your damned lights.

I thought that as Wisconsinites, we knew how to drive in winter. It's the main reason why we'd mock Texas for shutting down for only TWO inches of snow. We're supposed to be hardcore. When did we become wussies with winter? "Oh no! It's two inches of snow! Let's have a snow day!"

Wussies.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wisconsinites always become Texans for the first big snow. Then when they finally remember how to drive in the evil white shit, they go back to being their normal hardcore selves. But I have to say that I prefer weenie drivers who go slow to the buttheads in giant trucks and SUVs who careen past us and weave through traffic. Jerks. When I drove in this morning, the roads were NOT entirely clear because it was still snowing like the dickens, so the speed-demons were just being dangerous idiots.