In a recent blog post Keidra asked a very interesting question: "Is it really such a strange concept to people that one can be single and OK with that?" That question spun off into a flurry of comments from folks (including me -- I admit I love posting on her site, but that should be common knowledge by now) about how there is an implicit pressure to pair people off in happy coupledom and how there's media messages saying that no one is complete without another person.
In a strange way, it echoed some of the themes in Sex and the City that suggest that married/paired off people can't be friends with single folks because of envy, lust, insecurity, stupidity or a combination of all of the above.
I don't see it. I don't envy Keidra because she's a single woman in the big city (although I do envy her mad writing skillz, yo) and I don't think she envies my life in Madison. Maybe it's because I know the everyday monotony of both coupledom and singlehood. Neither is that exciting or sexy if you think about it. For couples there's snoring, fighting over bedsheet hogs, laundry and toothpaste splatters on the mirror.
It's a matter of envying someone else because of the old line "The grass always appears greener on the other side." When you're in the middle of couple or single shit, it doesn't seem romantic after awhile. But that's how life is -- the romantic luster wears off and reality settles in. If you can handle the reality and it makes you happy, rock on. The writer Tom Robbins had a great quote about the romance in being alone. There's romance in being alone and being in a couple. But the portrayal of one being better than the other? That's just fucked up.
2 comments:
I think that "marrieds/singles" can't be friends thing is bullshit. Yeah,I guess if one is threatened by being friends with someone who's not exactly like them it'd be an issue, but for most people? Nah.
Oh, and thanks for your kind words about my writing "skillz" :)
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