Saturday, July 04, 2009

Doing time

Yesterday Jeff and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. Hooray! We beat Jon and Kate and we don't have eight kids or a TV show!

When we mention to people who have just met us that we've been together for 10 years (14 including dating and such), they're always amazed. The funny thing is that most of the time, I'm not. I know his family. The men in his family are not about "I have to go find myself/afraid of commitment/need to make sure you're my soulmate." None of that. If they find someone they love, that's it. They propose, the woman accepts and there is marriage. These are very steadfast men in their devotion to their wives.

But sometimes I'm amazed more in the way of, "HOW THE HELL DO YOU PUT UP WITH MY ASS?" Seriously -- my neurotic, guilty-pleasure TV watching, opposite music taste, tempestuous, defensive, angry, passive-aggressive ass? At my worst (which he has seen), I am not a nice person. Whole cities lie in rubble of my destruction. And he's been the target sometimes. Yet he still loves me and sticks with me.

It is a strange thing to realize that someone loves you for all your faults, and also refuses to see/acknowledge them. In the past, when I asked what he loved the most about me, he'd say, "Viv." Which is a maddening answer, when you want specifics. But the older I get, the more I understand.

He loves everything. Not in a singularity, but everything that makes up the person as the package. Jeff has said the same thing about Benevolent Dictator. It's impressive to think about sometimes.

And I realize this in the wake of our adventure at Restaurant Muramoto. I hoped he would like it. I wanted him to like it. In all honesty, I had about 3/4 of our dinner. He didn't have as much. I felt guilty until he told me that part of the pleasure of dinner was seeing me have so much fun. Of course, after we saw Public Enemies (aka: BALE/DEPP CHEEKBONE-OFF!), he couldn't stop talking about a bacon pizza and turtle sundae.

But you know what? If a man can get that much pleasure out of watching me have fun at a meal he's meh with, then I think that's a wonderful thing. I love that man. For everything about him -- when I am happy with him and when I want to rip him a new one. He's a good man and I'm one lucky woman to have him.

Of course, he's also damn lucky to have a woman who puts up with his video games, odd Viking metal love, ramblings and the fact that he can't seem to find the hamper to save his life.

Happy 10th anniversary love. I'm willing to do life with you.

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