For the past couple of weeks, I have not been sleeping well. I'd wake up groggy, stumble through the morning (with much assistance from coffee), crash for a nap when Benevolent Dictator went down, got up groggy and stumbled through the day until evening, when I'd be up putzing around until about midnight.
Which is not how one should do things as a parent. Especially the parent of an acrobatic toddler who will exploit any weakness she can to wreak havoc around the house.
So today, I'm attempting to get my nap addiction under control. What used to be a delightful respite once or twice a week has gotten out of control. And hopefully, by doing this, I can also get some writing done. It sounds strange, but I think I need to write more. I need to exercise my literary muscles, or else they get flabby and I suddenly am not sharp as I once was. You know, to point where I'm sitting on my ass watching Sandra Lee and thinking, "The woman has some bright ideas!"
Thankfully, it hasn't gotten that far. Sandra Lee is still the culinary equivalent of Nickelback.
Anyways, to kick off this attempt at writing exercise, I wanted to address this:
I will admit, I HOWLED with the "Who's the father?" line and the "Bitch." But it also kind of stung as a formerly pregnant woman. Maybe it's that I've been seeing stuff like STFU, Parents and a rather long article talking about women and their Facebook profiles, which feature status updates of their kids and pictures of their kids for user icons.
First off, if you have access to my Twitter updates, you'll see I talk about Benevolent Dictator A LOT. I'll 'fess up to it. Because really, that's my job. People will talk about the thing that occupies their life the most and for me, that's a nearly-two diva that sprung forth from my uterus. If you knew me beforehand, I talked about my job a lot. Or how tired I was.
But I can switch up the topic to something else. I can talk about bad reality television, music, politics, cooking, animals and horror stories. I'll even expound on how with the new Star Trek movie, it's like Lord of the Rings in that there's every type of man for every type of woman -- only this time IIINNNNN SSSSPPPPAAAACCCCCEEE!
To simply assume that I'm a brain-dead twit or that all parents lose themselves to their children because of a handful of status updates is a bit much. If I did that, I'd assume that most of the people I've seen on the public Twitter timeline are drunken geeks who love to follow celebs, eat and gossip.
And as for the "Pregnant Women are Smug," I will also confess that I used the cliches when confronted with "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Because seriously, I heard that question about five billion times. And I got sick of it as well as people who insisted on pressing the issue. You're lucky I didn't say, "Right now I want you to SHUT THE FUCK UP."
I mean, you wouldn't get up in someone's face with "Why aren't you married? No really. Why aren't you married? Do you hate men/women? Do you fear commitment?" So why do people feel they can get up in a parent's face and press matters regarding development, pregnancy, parenting styles, etc.?
There are mothers who are that smug, I assume. Admittedly, I've never met them, or I have a high tolerance for people who suffer from the asshat syndrome. I've met more parents where I wanted to talk about something other than my children, but was unable to because the topic kept returning to the wee beasties. I tend to think that I do that and other parents do that because kids tend to be the safest topic to talk about among people you don't know very well. And with friends, well, if you're going to ask me how I'm doing or how the kids are, don't be surprised if I tell you.
I guess what I don't understand is the vitriol behind all of this. Yes, having kids is no big deal and may not warrant some of the fawning that occurs. But cripes, who the hell are these people hanging out with and why haven't they reevaluated their relationship with these folks? If you wouldn't put up with this from a parent, why would you put up with this from anyone else?