Wednesday, August 06, 2008

I hated to tell Jeff this...

But I don't think that Benevolent Dictator is a wizard. After witnessing her behavior at Barnes and Noble storytime on Tuesdays, I'm convinced she's a rogue. Here's why:

1. She has repeatedly rifled through other people's purses, diaper bags and backpacks, grabbing cell phones, snacks, sippy cups and other random objects for her loot. I've seen her grab wallets and articles of clothing.

2. During yesterday's storytime she saw snacks that were better than her Cheerios. She went to the mother and crawled up to her and just stared at the snacks (which that mother was giving to her children). The more amazing thing? She actually came away with a couple pretzels and a few Cheerios (apparently mine are not enough to satisfy her).

3. She's now walking around at a blazing fast speed. Which makes her extra sneaky sometimes because I'll look down, look up and she's around the corner, rearranging the bookshelves. Or she's seized an item and is now heading for the stairs.

4. She's learned the "If you lick it, you own it" rule. You won't believe how much stuff I've bought for her because she's licked it at the store. The funnier thing? She doesn't care about the stuff when it gets home. She's all about her next big score.

5. Benevolent Dictator will pitch a fit when I try and take items away from her. It's not a sneak attack, but you try dealing with a sonic blast in your eardrum as you try and pry a stuffed animal out of baby hands (which are AMAZINGLY strong).

Keep in mind, these events are perfect for the tiny rogue. There's at least 60 people there every Tuesday with their kids, which makes the perfect distraction. Not to mention, she's totally cute, so people are more forgiving than I can be. Hey, I live with her. I know the racket she's running.

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