Tuesday, March 11, 2008

It made my inner 15-year-old squee in delight as I looked on, embarassed

Way back in the day (aka 1876), when I was a wee lass of about 15 or so, I was a fan of New Kids on the Block. Donnie was my favorite.

I probably wasn't what some would consider a "true" fan. I hated Jordan's falsetto (it sounded like his testicles hadn't descended yet), hated the ballads, knew the 15-minute marker was coming up and didn't think they were the greatest band in the world. Unlike their fans (some of which are SERIOUSLY hardcore in a scary sort of way, much like the Snapewives.), I also didn't believe I'd grow up and marry the guys.

However, I have to credit Donnie Wahlberg (along with Brad Pitt and Keanu Reeves) for ushering in my puberty. I'll admit to having Donnie's face plastered up on the wall (and ceiling *shudder*). So no matter what, I've always had a soft spot for the group -- even if they were kinda cheesy. I can't help but hear some of their songs and get an embarrassed grin on my face as I relive my gawky high school years.

And I will confess to writing some real-person fanfic with NKOTB. Although I think it was better when I killed my Mary Sue off in a tragic drive-by shooting and stuck with the imagined characters, who actually weren't too Mary Sue-ish (that's when I feel like I did some real writing for myself).

Anyways, when word got out that NKOTB may be reuniting, my inner 15-year-old promptly hijacked my brain. She wants to go to the concert (if there is one). She wants to listen to NKOTB. She's the one forcing me to hunt down their last album, Face the Music, which has plenty of examples of New Jack Swing gone New Jack Wrong.

And I can't find that damned CD -- which is in a box, packed somewhere in this damned house. Until I find the thing, she's going to be bouncing around like a rabid hamster squeaking on and on about Donnie (nevermind the fact that he's nearly 40, wasn't that great of a rapper to begin with, has a receding hairline, is married and has kids).

She's driving me crazy.

Fortunately, I (the sane 31-year-old) have a sense of humor about the whole thing and am looking forward to snarking on the concert, much the same way that Henry Rollins snarked on a Ratt concert and their fans. So I'm looking forward to it (if it should happen). And K. better go with me so I have someone to joke around with.

I'm just hoping that I don't get my ass kicked by the diehard fans.


Anonymous said...

So, what's a snapewife? The internets make passing references to them, but I'm not finding a clear definition. I'm guessing obsessive fans of Severus Snape. But what makes them extra special creepy?

Heather said...

Can I come w/ you? I'm so obvious, I like Joe. Still do. He grew up hot. Still, going for the cute one is so lame of me.

Wonder if I still have my huge 6" diameter button? I've still got the first two albums on cassette tape. Anyone still have a cassette player?