Good fucking grief, my girl's teething.
Well, we suspect she's teething because BD -- who's really a very easy baby -- has gotten cranker, issuing grunts and groans like one of Master P's No Limit Soldiers. Grunting for her is her way of issuing orders: "I'm BORED! Amuse me Plebe!" or "MY DIAPER MINION!" You usually can tell how annoyed she is by how often and the volume of her grunts. She rarely cries, but the grunting can get annoying too. I think that sound is going to be the death of me.
And while she's normally a pretty good sleeper, the past two nights have been hell. Up at 10 for a feed, up at 11, up at midnight, up at 2, up at 4 and then up at 7. I am dead serious (as well as dead tired). Normally there's one or two sleepy feeds and then back to bed peacefully. This time? Oh no.
She's up and cranky, but doesn't want to eat. Doesn't want to sleep. The Children's Tylenol takes about 30 minutes to kick in and during that time, she's going for a nip on the boob, looking up for conversation and issuing orders with what looks like a Billy Idol sneer:
"You call this milk?" *slaps boob* "This is SHIT! And amuse me bitch!"
All of this when I've got work to do this weekend. My brain is fried. I'm also doing NaBloPoMo, which is hell on my brain. Needless to say, I have no inspiration right now for this post other than to say:
Send help now! I need a wetnurse or a nanny! I need my sleep! Send help now! Baby has taken over!
2 comments:
I am sorry to hear of your travails with BD, but this is one of your funniest post ever. EVAR!
Oh, and I'd be happy to volunteer my nanny services. But I've never done it before and I'm sure both BD and I would be in tears by the end of it all.
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