I did miss working, but this is too much

In about two weeks, I'll be going back to work part-time. Which will be nice. Even though there were moments where my job drove me crazy, it was still a job I loved doing -- not many people are lucky enough to get a job that matches their college degree.

However, I had a dilemma a week ago when my boss called and said that my replacement had just put in his notice and could I come back full time?

If he asked me a month ago, when I wasn't feeling secure about this whole parenthood thing and I was exhausted and tired of having all my conversations consist of "Mommy loves her little sweetpea so much! But she has to go use the bathroom now, so don't cry!" I don't think that I would've wrestled with the question so much.

You would've seen a blazing trail of me running back to work to get away from the diapers and baby blues.

Now? Things have changed. While BD constantly changes up the game, I'm started to feel like I've got the hang of this. She and I are bonding pretty well and I do adore the little girl. While I've always wanted to go back to work, I didn't want to do the same hours as before because I do want to see my girl grow up.

Not to mention, with the pay that I was getting, it wasn't worth it to go back full time.

But it was hard to tell my boss that I didn't want to come back full time. He was very cool about it and I've still got a part-time gig (which will be lovely so I can get out of the house, earn some cash and do what I like). I was thinking about the quote from Kill Bill today after I talked to my boss:

Before that strip turned blue, I was a woman. I was your woman. I was a killer who killed for you. Before that strip turned blue, I would have jumped a motorcycle onto a speeding train... for you. But once that strip turned blue, I could no longer do any of those things. Not anymore. Because I was going to be a mother.

Except, think of it as my career and my job. I would've done nearly anything for my job. I loved it that much.

Now? I have a new boss -- an 11-pound, dark hair, brown-eyed girl that demands all from me. The other career I do want, but I guess that I want to please my new boss more. She demands more attention, and so, I shall give it to her.

At least I can stay in the mix for a bit with the part-time thing. I don't feel like I'm going to have my skills rot, which is wonderful. And the extra cash will be good for the diapers that the little pooping prodigy goes through.

It'll feel weird going back, but I also trust that Jeff will be taking good care of the wee one. Who knows? She might also be the youngest online gamer thanks to her dad.