Thursday, February 23, 2006

When did Vanity Fair become Playboy?


And there's more skin on the inside! Sienna Miller's topless and showing what Jude's probably missing now. There's a naked woman with Jason Schwartzman, Angelina Jolie's showing off all her back tattoos (nice work there!) and Jennifer Aniston is wearing nothing but boots. Joy Bryant's wearing nothing but bling!

Not to mention, there's a huge shot of a tit with a nipple the size of a strawberry in a picture with plastic surgeon Garth Fischer. Topher Grace has some girl's legs wrapped around his neck as he smirks for the camera in a tuxedo.

A tuxedo! If you're still perfectly dressed after sex -- not a hair out of place or a bow tie askew, you're doing it wrong in my opinion.

It's all very silly to me. I enjoy Vanity Fair's Hollywood issue because it's got nice pictures of celebs looking very classy (personal fave photo -- Michelle Yeoh hanging on a trapeze bar in a black evening gown). Some people would call that "boring." Those people are stupid.

People can argue that being naked can be classy, but if that's true, I want to see Heath Ledger's ass dammit! How about some Viggo Mortensen booty? What about Terrence Howard's chest?

All the men are clothed -- except for Eric Bana who's lounging on a pool raft with a robe open showing off a speedo and Taye Diggs who's lampooning Cosmo male centerfolds. Not fair. For all the naked women, I want to see more man meat dammit!

I mean, I feel cheated. Seeing Tom Ford nuzzling Keira Knightly's ear on the cover isn't that hot to me. Frankly, the whole thing smacks of Mary-Sue fanfic -- only in this case, it's a famous designer jumping into high fashion photos. This isn't the first time that he's inserted himself into a magazine. Ford recently featured himself in a photo spread with a bunch of naked mannequins that appeared in W magazine.

I'll admit, I took the bait. I picked up the magazine (but to be fair, I do read VF every now and then because the articles are very good). People can argue that it's a reaction against today's puritanical society or it's an attempt to spice things up, but to me, it's a calculated decision that smacks of cynicism. "How do we get people's attention? TITS! ASS! To hell with good writing and interesting photographs -- we've got Sienna Miller's titties!"

6 comments:

Alan De Smet said...

Salon was pretty bitter about that issue as well. "Those of you who are not movie stars, magazine editors, fashion publicists or morning show hosts may never have heard of Tom Ford. Those of you who have may be surprised to learn that he has anything to do with Hollywood, short of deciding which frocks its inhabitants should don to walk down a red carpet. Yet Ford, who became known in certain circles for revivifying the moribund Gucci brand in the 1990s, has gotten himself so deeply confused with the movie stars he used to dress that this month finds him on the cover of Vanity Fair's annual Hollywood issue, on sale nationally today, sniffing the ear of naked 'Pride & Prejudice' star Keira Knightley."

(You'll probably need to suffer some ads to get a "day pass" to see the full article, sorry)

QuietlyGoingMad said...

GIVE ME VIGGO OR GIVE ME DEATH! Sorry, but yeah--we need some nekkid Viggo!

K. said...

Naked Taye Diggs was wonderful, but yes, I saw that issue and was annoyed. Incidentally, I think Taye was the only unclothed man in that issue, which is suspect. Way to perpetuate stereotypes of black male sexuality, Mr. Ford!

Amanda said...

Apparently, when Rachel McAdams dropped out of the shoot (good on her!) they put Ford in because "two women naked = lesbians". I kid you not.

So, instead, we have Ford sniffing Keira's ear, and I just feel ten different kinds of dirty.

Sid said...

Wait, you mean that's not Jeremy Piven?!?!?!

Kidding.

There is never any serious attempt to exploit male nudity, at least not in straight media. It is well past time for that to change.

Bitches.

Faith said...

When I first saw the cover, I actually thought the guy was Jeremy Piven (which frankly would make more sense considering that Tom Ford is GAY!). I haven't seen the rest of the issue (except for the Taye Diggs picture) but the VF Hollywood issue has always had a double standard when it comes to showing flesh. The premier issue had A-list actresses on the cover wearing thigh-length lingerie. The second issue had A-list actors FULLY DRESSED!! Whatever.