Tuesday, April 12, 2005

NyQuil, NyQuil, NyQuil, we love you, you giant fucking Q!

When you're sick, you learn new things about your body. For instance, I never realized my phlegm could be lime green with little chunks in it. Rather interesting. I also learned that I can sleep for 15 hours and not regret it.

OK, I lied about the last thing. I always knew I could sleep for 15 hours and not hate myself.

But the most valuable lesson I have now learned is to never forsake the NyQuil. In my last attempt to battle a cold, I purchased Tylenol Cold Nighttime. Sunday night I popped two Tylenol tabs and hoped for a restful, if drugged sleep.

Didn't happen. I woke up three or four times in a coughing fit as an alien attempted to claw its way out of my throat.

Monday, during a break from work, I picked up NyQuil caplets and Theraflu. I got home from work at 8:15 p.m., tired and still sick. I promptly took NyQuil and fell asleep at 8:20 p.m.

I slept like a baby. A baby that woke up twice in a coughing, wheezing fit. But it was still the best damn sleep I got in a long time.

I love you NyQuil! I'll never abandon you again for some cheap cherry-flavored tart that promises restful, narcotic sleep, but doesn't deliver.

To hell with marijuana, heroin and cocaine. I've got NyQuil to take care of my needs.

2 comments:

Amanda said...

Hee for the Denis Leary reference!

Anonymous said...

NyQuil: the only substance in the world that tastes like red and green.