House of Flying Melodrama

Just got back from a showing of House of Flying Daggers and I've got to say that while I'm a sucker for Asian Melodrama -- I mean, I cried like a baby at the end of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, this movie elicited the screaming critic in me. Maybe it's because I don't like watching idiot star-crossed lovers in action -- I've always had the urge to take a clue-by-four to Romeo and Juliet.

With Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, I'm more likely to give those lovers a little slack simply because with Chow Yun Fat and Michelle Yeoh, it was their restraint holding them back (not stupidity and hormones).

ANYWAYS....

It's a pretty movie, a very, very pretty movie. I liked several of the scenes that all the other critics applauded also. The echo game and the bamboo forest was really interesting visually and Zhang Yimou didn't use the Matrix camera shots in a way that made me want to hurt someone.

But -- Damn man, the ending had me laughing silently. Spoilers ahead! If you want the spoilers, just highlight all over the white below:

When the seasons changed during the end battle from fall to winter, I couldn't help but wonder where the two lead males had enough energy to continue fighting as fall segued into summer. Wasn't there a certain point where one guy said, "Fuck this! My back hurts, I'm tired and while she was a hot chick and all, this is stupid?"

And how did Mei survive being stabbed in the heart as fall became winter? Wouldn't she have died from blood loss?

As for finding out Leo was a member of the Flying Daggers, I kept waiting for a point when Jin would yell out in the bamboo forest, "DAMMIT! Who else is in the Flying Daggers?"

A guard's hand would go up, "Me sir." Then another guy coughs as he raises his hand. Soon there's a sea full of imperial guards raising their hands.

Jin: "FUCK! Is anyone NOT in the Flying Daggers?"

And what the hell happened to the Flying Daggers in the end? We see the imperial guard show up to the hideout and that's it. I feel robbed. Like there was a damn good fight scene that was cut for the three lovers doing Dragonball Z in the snow.