Saturday, January 29, 2005

Things I've learned while high on OJ and cold medicine

This weekend was fairly unproductive -- I've spent most of my time on the couch downing orange juice, cold medicine and wishing that my head would stop pounding and my throat would stop aching. But I've learned a few things thanks to my time on the couch catching up on hideous chick flicks.

1. From Unfaithful: Connecticut WASPs have way too much free time on their hands. Bored housewives should take a pottery class instead of having affairs. Either that or don't expect some tomcatting French dude to remain faithful to you. The kid who plays Dewy on Malcom in the Middle should stay nine forever. If you kill a man, for pete's sake, clean up the evidence better than what Richard Gere did. A good search warrant of his car would've dug up the carpet fibers that would've connected him to the body.

2. From Enough: Don't report an abusive husband to the cops. Learn Krav Maga and kill him.

Other than that, I tried to get U2 concert tickets today. That went about as well as the cough suppressant I've been taking to kill my cough. Not to mention, the "ticket brokers" (aka SCALPERS) are offering $50 general admission seats for $300. Bastards. Maybe I'll be lucky on the second leg. Needless to say, I'm a rather grumpy person right now.

At least I saw Animal House this weekend. That movie has the best ending in my book.

1 comment:

K. said...

Oh wow, I hope you're feeling better, Viv. I thought of you this weekend, with the U2 tix going on sale. May I suggest Craigslist? Just this weekend I was able to get a ticket to a sold-out Queensryche concert for $5 more than I would have paid online.

And you know what I learned from Unfaithful? Diane Lane's character was a frickin' dumbass. She *wanted* to get caught, man.