Temporary blackout

PEOPLE OF EARTH (said in the style of Kronos, King of the Monkey People -- Google it):

There is a temporary blackout on this blog. The writer has become obsessed with a story idea and needs to beat it out of her head. When she eventually drops the idea, then she will probably return to this.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

Monthy report: 30th month -- ATTACK OF THE BABY PENGUINS!

Dear Benevolent Dictator:

Before Christmas (so basically a couple of weeks ago), you turned 30 months old. Christmas itself was a blast -- you had fun playing with your cousins on both sides and getting all the love and attention in the world from your grandparents, aunts and uncles.

Then we had the insanity of the post-Christmas illness. Basically you and I came down with a 48 hour stomach bug. After that recovery, we quickly headed out to a waterpark/hotel, where you splashed until you were exhausted. Then there were more visits with family and friends, your father's birthday party and other crazy events.

Is it any wonder that parents are glad when the holidays are over? I'll confess I was RELIEVED to get our lives back to the usual humdrum routine. At least we all could sleep in our own beds and you could stretch out in your crib (as opposed to the Pack-n-Play, which now seems tiny for your body).

Looking back on the recent months, I have to say that I'm proud of the fact that you're learning diplomacy. You do say, "Please" and "Thank you" quite well, which does smooth some things over. I'm also impressed by your composure. During Christmas, when one of your cousins was playing with his new toy, you asked if you could play with it. He politely and nicely said he wanted to play with it right now.

Unlike other kids, who would perhaps hit him and take his toy, you walked away with some composure in your face, took two steps, saw me and then started bawling. Both of you deserve a lot of credit --he for being polite about the whole thing and you, for not smacking him and stealing his stuff. It's an important lesson to learn -- sometimes you ask nicely and you don't get what you want. It's how life is.

All this being said, I think that we now need to work on your private face. You've got a great public face -- you're like Bill Clinton. People can hardly believe that this sweet, giggly girl is the same one who pantses me when she wants something from me. Or that you've hit me. Or kicked me in the jaw while I do diaper changes. Or screamed her lungs out.

"She does what?" They ask me incredulously, as if I have accused you of punching Mother Theresa. "This sweet girl?"

Yes. You're a toddler. You're fickle, bossy and stubborn. You have to learn how to wait and share. You need to know that as your parent, I am not your whipping girl. I am your mother and I deserve respect. And right now, I can hear you laughing at that.

It's because you know I'll always be there. You can be as much of a shit as you want, and I won't leave you. My love is unconditional. But that doesn't mean that I won't like EVERYTHING you do. It's just harder now. I have to shape you to be a productive, kind and social member of society and to do that, I'm battling you and your id (which is basically all of you right now).

It's a tough battle, but if we can keep your charisma and sweetness and channel your rough behavior into something kinder, I think you will be unstoppable. And I'll continue to be your loyal minon.

Love,

Momma

You do know what your are drinking is meant for eye surgery?

On Christmas Day, my sister, her husband, Jeff and I managed to flee the house to see Sherlock Holmes. I recall some brief discussion about seeing Avatar, but that ended when I basically said:

"NO. NO PLANET OF THE BLUE CAT PEOPLE. WANT HOLMES. HOOOOOLLLLMMMEEESSS."

How can you argue with a rational, thoughtful and reasonable argument like that?

Now a little bit on my background: I love mysteries. The Westing House, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler and other similar books always interested me. I remember reading Sherlock early as a kid and loving it (as well as the mouse version, Basil of Baker Street). I always liked how Sherlock could figure out things just by observing the small details.

Quick aside: Post-college, when I interviewed for a job selling some ad space (I WAS HUNGRY ALRIGHT?), the man interviewing me said that it was clear that I couldn't see the big picture. I argued that "the small details make up the big picture" -- a line similarly used in the movie.

But I've never been a Sherlock obsessed fan like some other people. I stopped reading Doyle's mysteries awhile ago, after I discovered more hardboiled action like Robert Parker's Spenser, Sara Paretsky's V.I. Warshawski and others. Loving mysteries is in my blood, as far as I can tell -- my father's father translated Mickey Spillane novels into Chinese. But no matter what, in my mind, Sherlock Holmes is like one of the fathers of mysteries. He taught you that the smallest clues help make the big picture more clear.

Anyways, the movie. I really enjoyed it. As a casual Sherlock fan, I liked how Sherlock's mind worked and you saw it (that's always been one frustrating thing for me about Doyle's stories -- it seems like Sherlock was doing the COOLEST stuff with Watson not around, so we would always hear about it second hand). And yes, Sherlock is a badass mofo when it comes to fighting. I remember hearing about him boxing and other ninja detective-fu. It's just that Doyle never dwelled on it, as opposed to the scientific reasoning and observations, so it never lingers in our mind.

Cleolinda put it best with this line (go check it out -- it's a very thoughtful analysis. This blog will still be here):

Usually what would happen is that some ruffian would be all like ARRGHH I HAVE A PISTOL OR MAYBE A WALKING STICK, HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MY CRIMES and then prim, gentlemanly Holmes would be all WAPOW! with one blow in some arcane but impressive manner, and there you were.

I liked how Robert Downey Jr. made Sherlock like a mad genius (or as I put it, RDJ was using his drug years as inspiration for some of Sherlock's antics). I liked that Watson wasn't the doddering old uncle that you often see in the movies -- like other details from Doyle, I suspect people forget that Watson was a soldier for awhile and a badass in his own right. I will also confess, I like that Watson was a bit crankier with Holmes. I sometimes wondered why Watson didn't snap at his roomie/bestest buddy for talking down to him sometimes.

And Irene Adler is a real character from canon too. Maybe not as much of as Action Girl in the books as in the movie, but she does exist (see "A Scandal in Bohemia" -- I love that she actually pulls one over the greatest detective ever. I saw it as a flaw of his -- because Sherlock doesn't see a woman as a potential equal, he missed Irene pulling one over him) and is awesome. Rachel McAdams is pretty good in the movie, but admittedly her makeup I found distracting. For some reason, she reminded me of Joan Collins in Dynasty. But that's just me.

But I understand why some people are critical of the movie. It had more action and explosions than maybe what we're used reading about or seeing on the PBS specials. But it's obvious that even with the explosions and running, fighting and shootings, there's a certain knowledge and love of Doyle's work behind it. I mean, it fits into the Sherlock universe and there are touches that show a respect for Doyle's work. Fans have pointed out Watson's limp (which I didn't remember), as well as the long, crazy-logical explanations at the end as to how everything happened (which I remember of a lot of Sherlock mysteries).

I don't want to spoil too much of the movie, but seriously, when they named the villains, the only thing missing was a dude named, "Bob Stabsyaintheback."

Also, welcome back Guy Ritchie. Did you get your spine back after your divorce from Madge? This is up there with Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels as well as Snatch. From the whole gritty look of London, to the end credits and the twangy, yet also rollicking soundtrack (I've been listening to the soundtrack for awhile now, thanks to YouTube), Sherlock Holmes was just plain, rollicking good action fun with proof of love for the source material.